Just thinking aloud, ignore me.

It has been more than a month since your birthday has passed

I am running out of ideas as to what to get for your birthdays

Buy you nice CDs you also cannot appreciate so waste my money

Buy you nice clothes but you only like the frumpy type you always favoured

Besides you are getting plumper by the day I dunno your size anymore you bitch

Buy you nice ladylike bags you compraint you cannot put your test papers in it to take home

Buy you nice shoes you say you only like flats with big solid straps at the front and back

Buy you nice perfume but you cannot smell anything hai..

Buy you nice make-up sets but you would only use them twice a year?

Buy you nice jewellery but you are too lazy to inter-change them duh..

You stupid aunty you are so fast auntified when you are only barely married for a year

I can't even get away with buying stupid expensive worthless porcelain figurines

Like I did with Sj's wedding gift Precious Moments next door would do

Because it would not appeal to the auntified practical side in you

Maybe I should just get you some little baby clothes

So you would be compelled to make some little nieces and nephews fast

For me to play with by next year

Oh prease just do it and get over with it

I can't stand your lifelong planning anymore

It is as easy as laying an egg

A few clucks and you are done

Bitch.

Haha.

Would it really make a difference?

If he wanted to stray and you try to prevent it

Does it really matter

If she enjoys the attention

But still comes home at the end of the day to love you

Is it really like what they say?

That sexual jealously is a useless emotion

I still dwell on that statement up til this day

Ever since I chanced upon it 12 years ago


We are such different creatures, men and us women

God must be really bored up there

Bringing the two together so the world would be more interesting

altogether


Mackie said disappointment comes when you have expectations

Which set me thinking...

I traced back to a time whereby I had zilch expectations of men in general

It is not like I am extremely demanding now

But it seems I already have very well-defined expectations now

I wonder if this falls under realistic expectations?


I do not ask for faithfulness

You can come and go, as and when your heart tells you

I ask for a man whom follows his heart

It is perfectly okay for you to fall in love with someone else

I only ask to be the first to know

But once you have chosen to leave, I will not take you back anymore


I ask for a man with zeal and passion for life and it's challenges

I abhor sloth, procrastination and pessimism as character traits in

men

I wanna tell them to go jump down a building

They are wasting precious space and oxygen on Earth


Please do not tell me you just want a stable job

When you are really just stagnanted

When you are really too lazy to budge

When you are really afraid of changes in life

I can't have a man whom is too timid to explore new horizons in life

Before long you would see that I have already moved on without you


I hope you are not thinking of going dutch in a marriage

Where everything is calculated and halved

Because men are suppose to provide and support

I am still conservative at heart where it really matters

It does not really matter if you have not made it

I just want to see you trying your best until you make it

It is really not just about domestic partnership

I am looking for a man, not a business partner in life


Do not come to me and tell me you do not know what you really want

Or you do not know how you really feel

You are suppose to be a leader in this couplehood/ marriage

How do you control me

If I cannot even look up to you?


Do not expect me to stay at home for good to look after the kids

I want to grow as an individual too

Why should I become a suaku uninteresting woman

A housewife and a baby-making machine

Just because you are making enough to support us all?


I have probably written enough here today

To have men screaming "You stupid typical feminist win-liao-lor woman!"

I assessed the above carefully

Neither do I feel that they are unreasonable expectations

Dun start yet, because I am not finished here



I shall continue another day

When I am really bored again.

About Disappointment

A colleague shared with me not too long ago

She would rather be angry with someone

Than to be disappointed

She can't be more right

Disappointment should be categorised as one of the worse state of emotion

Anyone could go through

It takes away the years of disillusion

Whereby you thought you knew someone

But maybe you never really did

Today is officially...

Whining Day!!!

Dun worry guys, it's over.

Thanks to Mackie, Will and my baby Hanyao.

Sorry that you guys caught me online in one of those erratic mood swings

But thanks for being my angels today.

Would you believe it? I am so much better already!!!

Now to think about what I should do after work today.

Hiak hiak hiak hiak...

Random Rants

I am swearing off God

He sux.

I'd try to remember to apologise for sinning when on my death bed

But in case I forgot or did not get a chance to repent with all my might just before I die

Go ahead, send me to hell and burn me for my audacity.

Then at least I would know one thing for sure

That Judgement Day is bullshit too.