When She Loved Me, by Sarah Mclachlan

When somebody loved me

Everything was beautiful

Every hour we spent together

Lives within my heart

And when she was sad

I was there to dry her tears

And when she was happy so was I

When she loved me

Through the summer and the fall

We had each other that was all

Just she and i together like it was meant to be

And when she was lonely

I was there to comfort her and I knew that she loved me

So the years went by

I stayed the same but she began to drift away

I was left alone

But still i waited for the day

When she'd say i will always love you

Lonely and forgotten

I never thought she'd look my way

When she smiled at me and held me just like she used to do

Like she loved me

When she loved me

When somebody loved me

Everything was beautiful

Every hour we spent together

Lives within my heart

When she loved me

And we all had a fun morning...

It's been a long time, maybe... 10 years?

I finally decided to update.

Okay lah, though I am kinda pressed for time these days, I gotta confess that I am not updating not due to lack of time. But due to lack of mood.

Make that an understatement.

Overwhelmed, with my new responsibilities and commitment to a totally dependent creature.

That was an understatement too.

And because this is a public blog, I am going to be totally superficial today and show you the rosy pictures of my life, ever since I'd gone missing in action at 31 weeks.

When they decided to haul me in unexpectedly, making my poor colleague Kierra work full shift for 2 weeks straight (or more) when she was due to go for her holiday the day after next. I am not ready to go into details of Kayleen's birth story. Too lengthy. Hai... And too anti-climax lah.

The view that kept me company for the first few stays when I am stuck at KKH with Kayleen showing no signs of ever going to come out.

My niece came to visit. She loved the hospital bed.

Kayleen Ho Xuan Ying arrived on the 28th August 08, 10.18a.m.

Small, at only 2.21kg.

The must have proud daddy picture, I think.

She was an angel the first two days after coming home from the hospital (probably recovering from the birth and the effects of the drugs from the delivery), we were all fooled.

Speed things up a little, Kayleen is one month old.

The full month flower bath

In case you miss Meow Meow, haha...

In case you miss Jackie.. Her Da(4) tou(2) zhao(4). Haha...

And of course, my cheeky little niece.

Something is wrong with the video file I uploaded below, the image and sound came out synchronized. My niece squeezed into the baby bouncer and imitated Kayleen hiccuping and crying for milk. It was my mum egging her to do the mimicking in the first part of the video.

That's all for now, guys. I need to run again. Will update again soon. Hopefully, I'd be able to gather my thoughts together to write a little more than a brainless photo blog. :)

Going on 31 weeks

Overwhelmed at times with unexpected and sudden bouts of fatigue or heartburn, now thick into the third trimester of my pregnancy... Forgive me people, for taking a long break from updating.

This is the stage I have been giving childbirth and labour itself, some really serious thoughts. I really do not mind the baby staying inside for as long as she wants to, at this point, if not for the disadvantages of a severely overdue baby. It has been really nice to be able to bring her to work and everywhere else I go now, to have company (and constantly reminded that I have company through her nudges and kicks) even when I am alone.

The last US scan I had, it really seemed like she was growing out her pudgy arms and thighs, putting on fat and running out of space in there. Wow, my little snowman with a circle for her head and a circle for her body and four circles for her limbs, is finally starting to resemble a real human form.

That really explains the strong kicks and movements that fair takes my breath away sometimes. I think I would really miss these sensations when she is born. I would miss speculating if it is a hand, a leg or just her tiny bottom sticking out to make a really strange looking lopsided belly. Eeeewwww... Ugly.

I can't believe I only have two more months left. All I can think about now, is whether my pain threshold can live up to my expectations. I am so curious to meet my baby, to know if she is gonna be exactly like whom I have bonded with all these months. But fear of the unknown parameters of physical pain is causing some anxiety too.

I feel like a first timer attempting a full 42km marathon, stubbornly wanting to attempt raw labour without the much talked about miracle epidural. I just want to know, how.. just how did our mothers do it without these fancy frills. Suddenly, I feel sorry for always teasing Julian about his passion for marathons and triathalons. I think I know why you are doing it now, Jules! If you are reading this. Ha..

With only two months to full term, my baby list is giving me a headache everytime I go through it. It is hard to believe how many things a tiny baby actually needs. Apparently, they term it basic neccessities. Which is meaning to say, everything must buy.

Thank God for family, mum especially, for preparing all the numerous hankies, towels and newborn clothes and mittens. Not to mention the many miscellaneous items like creams and what nots. I still find it hard to believe that these tiny life forms need some many things to survive. They are alot more easy going when they are inside you, huh?

Aye, forgive a clumsy and sleepy pregger's rantings. I am just having an especially boring and grumpy tired day. I'd get over it tomorrow. =)

Long overdue: Updates at 27weeks and into my last trimester...

I finally purchased my first baby item. Her sleeping space! I was quite disappointed that the one I like didn't come in pink. See, Mr Jee Bu Sai is sitting on the baby changing mat.

This is the clearest picture I'd taken of my bum. I took it at about 23 weeks, I think. The baby still seem a little low. According to the gynae, I have a low-lying placenta. At this point, you can still see the slight dip where my belly button is at. When the uterus travels up and above the navel, the belly button would soon become an outie! Yucks, I hope it won't become all creased when it pops back.

I did something really naughty the other night. I was bored, and home alone at about 2a.m. HGS have to be at the warehouse to supervise the shipment arrivals again. It was really quiet, you know, with the dog asleep and the cat probably asleep and nothing good on TV. Oh and zero movements from the belly, so baby probably asleep too. I started poking and exploring this foreign, bulky and rock hard weight I carry all day, commonly known as the baby bum. I poked and pushed a few times... No response.

Wow, I'd like her to sleep like that when she is born.

I poked a little harder, once... twice... I felt the tiniest kick. Then I pressed a little harder. Again, just a groggy little kick. At that moment, I can almost picture a ballooon from my tummy that says, "Arghh... sleeping dun disturb leh!"

This is so fun. I could wake her up if I want. *sniggers...*

The Tom and Jerry fanatics.

She loves the camera.

My mum made this. It is a Jello Cheesecake.

My fluff friends' drink, The Mojito and the yummy tofu cheesecake.
Mojito - So it's a lime drink with Seven-Up and mint leaves. :) I got so excited to know it actually exist! Hai... suaku...

May was a busy month, my mum's burfday

And Mothers' Day

Before I end the entry, wanna share a snippet between me and my colleague, Kierra.

Kierra: You're so fucked up!

Eva: Yeah I am, can't u see?

Kierra: Oh yah! You are fucked up so now you are screwed with a kid!

Yeah, I'm screwed. Hai..

Half baked: Personal reflections along the way

No

It hasn't been a bed of roses

But I understand that even if marriages were made in Heaven

Alot of details have to be worked out here on Earth

It's not time to worry yet

It's not time to let go

Please believe that I know what I am doing

I'm strong enough to get it done my way

With your support and cheering me on

Yes

I'm not tired yet and

It's not tough

Not yet

Don't worry

Enjoy this all,

Together with me. =)

20.9 weeks and ...

I'm a girl! =)

Meow's paw

The things we do when we ar bored, especially to our pets.

Child Abuse Video (Part 2)

Sorry for I did not realise I held my blurry handphone camera the wrong way up.

Child Abuse Video (Part 1)

Caution: Hideous laughter in video.