The Cutest Dog on Earth

Life is boring as a retail staff...

If I continue to stone like this, I'm turning into stone soon... Wait a minute, what's that crazy person doing, aiming the camera this way??!!

















Two can play at this game, somemore my camera better than yours. Professional one leh..

















Lemme learn how to use it first..

















Need to aim properly one mah..
















*Self-satisfied smile..* Haha gotcha!

















Wei's sidenote: Sometimes I think my brain either degenerate from the boredom or I go nuts. Forgive my silly post.

Something I stole from my friend...

Alone in this house again tonight

I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine

There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me

The way that it was and could have been surrounds me

I'll never get over you walkin' away

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show

And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control

But I'm just drunk enough to let got of my pain

To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain

From my eyes

Tonight I wanna cry

Would it help if I turned a sad song on

"All By Myself" would sure hit me hard now that you're gone

Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters

It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better

But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

-"Tonight I Wanna Cry" by Keith Urban

For Mack

Hi, sorry I did not pick up your calls nor reply your sms.

Most of the time, I was at some noisy pub so I did not hear the calls at all.

I wanted to return your calls but I did not want to talk about him.

I had been thinking alot these days...

Couldn't help wondering why

Why he gave up without a fight

Then I mustered up my courage to sms him, "How's life?"

He said, "So.. So.. Abit lost and boring. Realised I do not have many close friends"

We chatted on the phone abit.

Talked about normal things, he said he would return the TVB drama VCDs he borrowed from my neighbor

I asked him how he found the drama

He said it was great story plot, but the ending was a little disappointing, abit weak.

I said, yeah.. funny how hard they fought in the palace for years and then suddenly for something trivial, they just gave up everything without a fight.

He agreed with me.

Then I said, just like you.

I initiated the break and you gave up without a fight.

He tensed and paused for a long time before saying, yah, I dunno why.

I said, you are tired too, that's why.

He said, yah, maybe.... I really needed a break, for the two of us.

I did not tell him I do not believe in taking breaks.

I always knew that you are either in or out.

We ended with take cares.

In all truth, perhaps I still harboured a teeny weeny little hope that he would fight a little more to have me back.

There was still a curious little dark thought that perhaps we would be back after a few weeks or so.

After last night's conversation, I knew that my decision to initiate a break was a right one.

We did end amiacably.

Because I think he wanted one but he is like you,

He would never have initiated one.

Like you, he never deserts nor abandon.

But I want no man to love me out of responsibilities and obligations.

The basis for love was so very wrong to start with.

Last night was further revealation which was both hurting and conclusive

I can finally put the matter to rest.

It was mutual and it was amicable.

I like it this way.

Because we share so much in common after all these years

That he would be the bestest best friend I would never have again.

When are you getting wasted with me, lesbian partner?

Life as a walking dead

You wake up in the morning and brush your teeth

You take your morning coffee and prepare to go to work

You travel to work and sit in front of the comp

Wondering how soon you can get off work

You wonder where you should go after work

Should you get wasted in the pubs again tonight

Or should you just seek solace in other people's companionship

Listening to their problems which you prob dun even give two hoots about

You get home wasted late at night

You take a shower and take off your contact lens

You lie in your bed

Too drunk to think

Too drunk to wallow

Too drunk to be miserable

You wake up in the morning with a hangover

And begin a new day all over again

Such is the life of a walking dead

I just needed to say this somewhere...

I found a big piece of my heart missing

It is in the shape of your silouette

It was when I said, no, to you yesterday

I did not understand back then

Why two people can't be together

When they are still deeply in love

Now I can

Seven years of shared dreams and aspirations

All shattered in a moment's deadly silence

We were so near to the finishing line

Yet a moment of truth revealed

We were actually so far

It broke my heart when I knew the real situation

The last two years had been a sham

I turned it into a scam

When all along I believed we were real

I do not dare look into your face

I know that I would just turn soft

I do not dare hear you cry

I know I would just hug you and never let go forever

Now there is a huge void where you used to fill

It is so big I can't find my heart anymore

Maybe when you have given it all

You have nothing more to give anymore

Thank you guys

Thank you for your concern, to probably the only two people whom reads my blog.

I had been the walking dead for the past week or so, can't bear to think, can't bear to feel.

Maybe something died in me, the night I read his reply to my email.

I dunno, it's too painful to start thinking, I dun wanna start.

I dun even wanna be left alone for a minute so silent thoughts can creep in.

It is harder to give him up willingly

Then it was if I was left with no choice

I wished he had left it to end in silence

Than him smsing me last night to say sorry

The problem I am facing now is no longer the issue that triggered off everything

It is the issues which emerged, opening my eyes to an otherwise blissful relationship

I dun deserve him

I had been selfish to keep him for seven years

All along knowing he deserves better

I had been selfish, wilful and wasted seven years of his youth, time, money, energy and effort

If I had any last shred of decency and conscience left in me,

If I had really loved him

The only last thing I could do for him now is to leave him for him to move on to better things

I know you would not agree with me

But you were not here to see, to hear and to feel.

It's over

Yes

I would appreciate if you dun call him to ask why and what happened.

Please dun ask me why what happened now too.

We are both still hurting so please dun ask me now.

Thanks.

I am really confused now

Can't help it.

25 years old is too old to not know what I really want

Yes I resent that but I can't help it

You whom have no time and energy left at the end of the day to even talk to me

Or even listen to me talk

Not to even mention meet up face to face

You whom wants me to stay home and make your daily phone calls the highlights of my day

Confined to the corridor

You whom cannot trust me still

Even a simple thing like doing my own research for my own career

You resort to interrogation and confrontational methods to ask a simple and redundant question like that

You dun trust me to do my own thing for myself

You accuse me wrongly when it is you whom had forgotten all that I had updated you

I start to realise that you were never listening when I talk

It had always been a one-way conversation

You dun have time for me

But you want me to stay home everyday

I am sorry

I can't swallow that

Random Rants - Ignore Me

I know I shouldn't

But I did

I know it's not right

But I did it anyway

I know you dun give a damn

That's why I hate myself for even bothering to care

I fucking hate you

I wish I am past caring

But I still can't manage it for now

*tears hair*

I'm going crazy and it's all your fault, you son of a bitch.